I'm exhausted.
And my relationship is about to end.
Which means, I have NO WHERE TO GO. And also, I LOVE him still.
Fucker. If he pushes me away, I'll go home. Home where people love me and I have friends.
Argh! I HATE giving him control, but last night I was ON MY KNEES crying my eyes out, at 2.30 am, when I had to get up around 7.30 am and have a final.
He is very much in power. It hurts. I want control. I'm pathetic, but I love him so much.
I will comply and oblige to whatever he wants, I will just take it out on myself. I can cut, but most important, I can starve. I can make him see what he does to me.
I'm not stopping. I'm not gonna wake up one day, I know this, but I don't care.
At least I will look fantastically thin while being dead.
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