Liquid Paper

Can I have some liquid paper to erase the last 10 days of failure?

I have been binging. On the verge to being sick - actually not on the verge - I was sick.
Felt like my stomach was about to explode. Then I waited 1.5 h and had some more.
Seconds, Thirds, Fourths - Eat until EVERYTHING is gone.

I even took it so far to throw away everything "tempting" we had at home.
Next day, I bought other stuff that I wanted.
I'm in trouble, a little bit in too much trouble.

OK. I have a lunch appointment on Friday, I need to eat then.
But preferably, I want to get back to restricting again within this week.
If I can do it within this week, it is fixable. If not..ugggh, I don't want to think about it.

Every blog here inspires me to start over, again and again, and again.
Unfortunately, it needs to be MY timing.
Oh,well. Life goes on.

On the positive side, I got the courage to talk to BF about getting engaged.
He said, he was afraid I didn't want to becuase;
1. I'm a feminist. 2. I'm not conventional.
That is correct, he is right, but for this matter - I dooooo.
1. Domestic partner sounds like I am gay each time I say it.
2. It is part of my culture too even though I'm not talking about a big as engagement ring. That's a no no.

But I felt good for finally have put it out there. And I know he does too.
Sweet.

Where's my sweet oat cracker...gimmie, gimmie, gimmie.