Of Tinsel and Thorns

Buttermilk & Cereal (120)

Lunch: Fruitsallad (70)
           Sallad with Grapes & Salsa (50)
           Yoghurt (80)
           Half banana (50)

Rice Cake (40)
Apple (50)
460
Diner: To come...



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Good morning!
I have family and friends thinking of me. It feels good. But I know some worry.
And I know they are gonna get a chock next summer when I return.
Oh well.

Thanksgiving is coming up. FOOD! Fattening carbs.
Today I have school then I always go to the gym.
After gym I need to go to Safeway to buy ingredients to make lemon cakes.
BF said he will help me. Sure sure. He can taste them. I refuse too.

I am doing well I think. I have made everything into routine - that way days go faster.
In school I am always nervous. At lunch I always bring salad and coffee. It does fill me up.
But it makes me light headed, especially now when I'm not getting enough sleep.

Found wonderful SUGAR-FREE syrups to put in coffee. I mean, like I said before, If I restrict
my calorie intake, I surly don't want to DRINK my calories...it just doesn't fill me up.

When I see my fat inner thighs, I just tell myself it will take time otherwise I will be discourage.
And discouragement leads to binging. I can't have that, not now, not when everything is so close.

Haven't set an ultimate weight goal but I'm speculating around 100 or 95.
It's gonna take time. But before I know it summer time will  be here - winter time
is a cold pain in the ass. Cold. Cold. Cold.

I will update with pics next week...think it's time to show my real self.
As for now. This is still just therapy.