I was sleeping last night around 12.00 when he came home from the company dinner.
I guess he interpreted my sleepy "no" as please, go ahead, use me.
My disapproving whimpers and muttering had no effect.
This morning I didn't really know how to react.
I was angry but not angry enough. I was just soooo sleepy last night - unable to do anything - to stop anything.
I was just there, which is why I am more angry at myself, why didn't I react more strongly? It was like all my strength had left me. And mentally I was in dream land.
I got his sorry's and guilt this afternoon and evening. He is still at work.
But it's too late to save this day, I binged. My mother sent me chocolate from my own country.
I ate. Then, I ate potatoes with butter, agedashi tofu, bread, butter, cheese, rice, sushi ...
Damn it.
Today is the 20th anniversary of my father's death. This is the first time I cannot visit his grave.
Homework, homework, homework. I hate my biology teacher. I don't hate in general but I hate her.
it's no wonder you binged...sometimes it's very comforting. you really needed it on a day like today.
ReplyDeletepotatoes and butter! oh, and the cheese and bread, yum!!! chocolate...for me not so much...weird i know :/
tomorrow is another day and you'll be stronger from todays troubles.
hugs,
Lu
You have been so good lately, that this binge is probably something you just needed to DO. That's ok sometimes.
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