But I am going insane over binges.
Something has spiraled me out of control and I suspect that something has to do with my
relationship, stressing over mid-terms and sleep deprivation. (Honestly less than 6h every night).
I feel so ugly when I look in the mirror. I hate myself.
I need to figure this thing out again. However, I still need to make modifications to what ever the hell I've been doing.
I cannot waste more time over calorie counting.
I'm thinking about eating "normally" again, no not anything I want, just not count every single little thing that goes into my body. I can't deal with it - it turns my head to mush at the end of the day.
I've done the no-calorie counting before and it worked perfectly although it was difficult at first to let go of the control. As long as I control myself, which I usually do *except for the last days* it should be fine because I usually over estimate the calorie content i food anyway...
Valentines went fine. No expectations but we had a nice, really nice, dinner at a restaurant and I gave him some chocolate and some "lovely dovely notes." No physical contact other than kissing. I'm so not ready for it and to my surprise he didn't even initiate or push very much either. So, again, can a relationship survive without the physical intimacy...?
Other than that, everything is fine between us.
Mid-term today and in a few hours my oldest brother is becoming a first time dad.
I'm gonna be an auntie, auntie Neri, sounds so ooold.
Stay optimistic my weight-blasting darlings!
I'm going over with my binges too! ): It's the worst ever.. We both just need to stay strong especially with summer, I hope the baby is all healthy! Congrats! xo A
ReplyDeleteI wonder if there is something you might be able to find time for that will help de-stress you. When I was in graduate school, I was out of control stressed, with everything in my life - I was suffering from the worst headaches, every day,that completely interrupted my life. Running and knitting have really helped me channel any negative energy I might have. I know it's hard to find time for one more thing, but maybe just doing something therapeutic will help you get your bingeing under control and allow you to grab hold of the other areas of your life...
ReplyDeleteJust a little thought :) Thanks for the constant encouragement, as always!
I totally agree. It would be nice to just live and eat like a normal person. It might be worth it to try the no calorie counting. The idea is super scary, but I have done it in the past when I got fed up. Glad you had a good V Day. Do you and your boyfriend abstain from sex or has it just been a while? And congrats on being an auntie.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. Food sucks, but we just gotta work out what works best for us.
ReplyDeleteValentines sounds like it went well. I'm totally jealous! :D
<3
hey auntie neri...i luv the sound of it and adore be called auntie lu from my nieces and nephew. they always put a smile on my face...you're going to make a very cool auntie!
ReplyDeleteso funny, i over estimate on my calories too...just to be on the safe side. but it is such a chore and very madding! you have so much else going on it might be a good idea to give it up for a bit and see what happens. throw in some extra workouts and it will all equal out...or less!
sometimes taking a step back in a relationship will make it stronger...kissing can be oh so fun so that's good, bring back the romance. it might make you both want it once the heat has been turned up over time???
hugs,
Lu