Two Umatching Socks

That's me and my life right now. I am the red sock and my life is the blue.
I am blue and life is red.

Before I came here, to this country, working out was effortless; Get up, get out, work out, start the day.
It was always the same. Maybe, maybe that is what I need? No time to think.
I get the advice from my loved one, over and over again, that I should work out whenever I come home,
but I am not motivated then. By then, all of the realness of life has beat me down already...
And all I crave is Ice-cream.
I'm thinking that I should wake up earlier and go running. I am not a morning person but if I work out in the mornings I don't have time to think that I don't want to do it. I just do it! At least, that's how it used to be before I moved. Maybe I should try? In 4 months it will be impossible, because of changing schedules.

Today is grocery shopping day. I need to buy food, so we both can live. He doesn't care, I care.
I will get the usual, fruit, veggies, but I have a hard time resisting to put "other" things in the cart as well.
Especially when I am alone, when he is with me, I don't...I am good.
He loves me no matter what, I know that, but I don't love myself...it is difficult.

There is no fasting today but I need to eat smaller portions and I really SHOULD work out.
I made veggie soup yesterday, enough to feed a whole city probably. Tofu, peppers, onions, tomato, mushroom, boullion, not horrible in nutrition, but probably too salty.

Ah, today I will buy tons of lemons. Lemons are good, but I don't like them.


Alright...FAIL! Haha. Almost funny. But not really. 
2 loafs of french bread with an insane amount of butter
4 Slices of Cheesecake
2 Yogurts and some cereal
A bowl of salad, including sun dried tomatoes and half an avocado
2 banana-muffin